Upended Expectations

"Expectations as to how this will happen for you usually holds people off because they unconsciously shut themselves off to other pathways to the same target, believing that their only strategy would allow them to achieve their concept of achievement."

Picture Credits: Jot It Down By Aina

“I am not in this world to live up to your expectations and you’re not in this world to live up to mine.” Quoted by Bruce Lee.

One can never fully perceive what is to happen; it may be following what the person expects, something in the middle, or the complete opposite; however, imposing expectations on oneself or anyone or anything is utterly unacceptable. The society which we live in today forces their expectations on everyone consisting of the society, imposed regardless of whether they are related to the person targeted or not.

Everyone has distinct mentalities, not only distinct mentalities but a labyrinth of them and what makes them different from each other is their approach to things based on it. An individual, when deciding things, considers what they want; our society, however, makes the decisions for the person way before they, themselves are allowed to do so. For instance, if a student wants to opt for Computer Science as their major, but their family's preference is to put them in the field of Business. The student's choice will be questioned and criticized to the point where they will choose to take Business as their major themselves.

In whatever field one excels in, they should be encouraged to participate and not forced, based upon expectations of people, if an opportunity is provided; however, the person themselves should be willing to take up the challenge. What our society refuses to understand is that as the youth of this generation, we also need to address the multifaceted issues that we have surrounded ourselves with. Our lives not only revolve around what is our education and school life, but we are also too conscious of how people see us and what perspective they have of us based on our looks, our appearance, and our social status.

Being an overachiever, one has this albatross on his neck of being the best in the room. They are, well, obligated to be quintessential in the horde. If that same student fails to deliver the perfect grades or fails to excel in a certain field in the classroom because of some reason, the student is criticized; they feel pressured to maintain their level of academics regardless of their driving force. The student may be going through some problems, is maybe disturbed somehow, or they need a break from the constant reputation of being perfect; regardless, they are expected to bring their grades to the highest point of the curve. Irrespective of how they take over the problem, it is, nonetheless, expected that they are to excel in all fields. 

An average student, managing to achieve an 'A' or 'B' grade is always coerced to attain more than what they are already achieving. This act of persuasion is put into action rather harshly than actually encouraging students to improve their ways of learning and practice; they are compared to others achieving more than them. This way of persuading students to score the grade expected causes them to feel inferior. The student may be making efforts, but they will come to think that the ones they are making already are not valued.

A student hanging by a thread is maybe, trying their best to overcome their difficulties in understanding concepts, where they are trying their best to get at least a satisfactory grade. If one expects them to excel with flying colors out of the blue, it is simply unrealistic, and comparing the student to others is even worse. If the student is put screws on, they may not be able to perform their best, or they may even start questioning their worth. The mere thought of being a disappointment may put them into a panic.

This constant push to be the exemplary spawn pressures a child to prove themselves in the worst of ways. Parents should have expectations from their children; however, having expectations too high or severely low can interfere with their child's self-esteem. Not only are the expectations of the society needed to be fulfilled, but the standards that have now been provoked by social media are causing people to neglect who they are. One is not only expected to be exceptional at academics; they should have an impressive social presence as well. Daily, we question ourselves and lose confidence because of such impractical expectations that are not achievable when the closest we can get to being perfect is to be ourselves and not someone made-up.

One should have personal expectations, to set their goals and one that points to their aim. However, one should be aware of their capabilities, and they should then set the bar accordingly so that they do not end up hurting themselves from their expectations. One can list their expectations. Then may then realize how unrealistic most of them sound; and that eventually and inevitably, they become self-fulfilling prophecies that test oneself in such twisted ways. They should be firm about the decision and put their opinion first before anyone else. If one is trying to improve their skills and capabilities, the bar should not be set too high or too low, for it would be illogical to do so. They should sort out their weaknesses first and then start working on them.

When one puts their expectations and opinions before anyone else's, they know not to overstep their boundaries when expecting anything from others. This way, the person not only is comfortable with the walls confining their expectations; they also do not unnecessarily pressure others to meet their bar of assumptions.

When setting the bar of expectations for a child, one should consider all their weaknesses and strengths and try to be as realistic as possible. For performance goals, one should put their learning first than grades and extracurricular activities, but they should not entirely dismiss the importance of maintaining an appropriate record.

What we expect is usually an illusion, but what we do is reality, regardless of whether it fulfills our expectations or not. What comes back to us as a result of our actions is worth giving thought to; what we feel about it is there, but what we think about it is just an expectation. The reaction we receive or what happens is far away from what we expect from people, for our expectations may be high, but the result we receive may not be the same.

And here we see that truth naturally filled with all its unpleasantness attacks you with its force, overpowers and hits you hard enough to sweep you off your feet. Then again, it is not always as bad as it might sound. When you are very fortunate, your expectations will become a living reality, and inevitably your hard work will pay off against all odds. Where it is all a matter of fate and fortune, you and your actions play a very significant role in your life.

Expectations as to how this will happen for you usually holds people off because they unconsciously shut themselves off to other pathways to the same target, believing that their only strategy would allow them to achieve their concept of achievement. What those negative standards look like for you is subjective, but coping with them always leads back to the same idea; you need to let them go or, maybe more appropriately, loosen your grasp on them to obtain the power of flexibility and clarity in your life.